QUEUE by B. R. L. Meredith

I’m pretty sure that dragon shouldn’t be allowed to skip ahead. Fine, so you’ve got some big time business with the Queen, fiery rage, shiny heroics blah, blah blah. Seriously though, not acceptable, not in a nation that’s supposed to pride itself on its equality.

It makes me sick really. Here I am, waiting away for 15 hours – I camped overnight donchyaknow – just to supplicate our ruler for another well in our village.

The other one’s dried up, you see. I bet those dwarves have been siphoning the water off to power their damned water wheels. Find something that squirts water and they’ll always stick a ruddy great engine on it, but where does the water come from I ask you? Muggins here and his community. Definitely the dwarves now that I think of it. Probably did it on purpose. Makes me sick.

Besides, none of this would have been a problem if it weren’t for those sodding gnomes clogging up the forest. We’d have been able to fell those trees and dig a well in a nice easy spot, but nooooo, we’ve gotta protect their habitat or something. In my opinion, if they don’t like it, they should bloomin’ well move. We’ve gotta have water and, to be quite honest, they’re only tiny… it’ll be so easy to build new houses! Whatever, ugh, this queue is so slow!

I bet that dragon’s taking up all their time with a quest or adventure or something. I’ve heard they’re always doing that. Wherever there’s a dragon there’s trouble. That’s what my old man used to say, and he built our first well, so you can be sure he knows what he’s talking about. True man of the world that man, had his head screwed on…

… what was I talking about? Oh yeah, this queue. I hate queueing, wish I could skip… but then I’d be as bad as that dragon.

Makes me sick.

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